Taking Inventory of Public Lavatories

It is late in the night and your those hot wings and White Castle sliders have caught up with you. You pull off the highway hoping for a place to lighten your load. As you exit your worst fears come to fruition. Only one public facility, Taco Bell. I think it is a common fear to be in a situation where it is critical to use a Taco Bell restroom.

I have a dream, well kind of, to create the ultimate public restroom guide. I would work for a newspaper, do business around town, and then report out on approximately three facilities per week around a major metropolitan area. The year end issue would be the best, top 10 places to squat and top 10 to not! Of course anyone could write an opinion piece...

Rating Restrooms - A sliding scale from 1 TP roll to 5 TP rolls

Criterion

1.) Traffic - A little privacy please! Nobody wants another person knocking on your door asking how much longer you will be taking.

2.)Cleanliness - is next to Godliness. Sticky floors and enough hair to make a toupee, say no way!

3.) Wash Station - All out of soap? Paper towels or a weak hand-dryer? Spring loaded sink that only gives you 1 ounce of water at a time? These questions need to be answered.

4.) Toilet Paper - Quality counts! Two-ply and quilted or could it also be used as tracing paper?

5.) Seating - No need to tell you that you force the issue when it is a one person house and somebody just jiggled the door handle.

6.) Extras - I'm not going to tell you where at Easton Towne Center (because of item #1), but there is a restroom with candles, hand lotion, reading materials, and contemporary photography that adorns the walls.

Conclusion: Next time you happen to be in Kohl's, make that extra trip to the restroom. Give it a quick 6 step run through and let me know what you think.